Skewed

The city hummed around me, a dull thrum against my frustrated thoughts. It was 11:30 PM, past Patty’s curfew, and I was walking from the car park to my apartment, a familiar ache settling in my gut. Patty was amazing; hot as hell, beautiful face, killer body. She was a real catch. But her parents? Strict as hell. Curfew at 10:30 PM, no spending the night, no going anywhere after. It was a constant source of tension, especially for a guy like me who just wanted to wake up next to his girlfriend. I wished we could rent our own place, just be together.

Lost in that familiar frustration, I bumped shoulders with an old woman just outside my building. She stumbled, clutching a worn bag. My first instinct was to help, but my annoyance won out. I just kept walking, muttering a quick, half-hearted apology over my shoulder.

"I understand your frustrations, young man," her voice rasped, surprisingly clear, "but you should be more helpful. Even so, I'll grant you one thing you are after: your desires, all in one, will be a reality. Albeit a little skewed because of your behavior." Then, she hobbled off, melting into the shadows of the night.

"What the hell was that?" I thought, shaking my head. Just some crazy old lady, probably.

My phone buzzed. I hoped it was Patty, maybe she’d snuck away from her parents, but it was Dale. My roommate. Dale, the douchebag. Good with ladies, somehow, despite being a total sleaze. He'd bring girls home, bang 'em all night, and then brag about it over coffee the next morning. It was hell.

Dale never messages me, I thought, confused. His text just said, "You home yet?" I typed back, "Just heading in now."

I pushed open the apartment door, and immediately noticed my bedroom door was ajar, lights on inside. "Goddamn it," I muttered, a fresh wave of annoyance washing over me. "Dale, if you're in my room touching my shit again, I swear to god...."

My voice died in my throat. I stared, mouth agape, frozen in the doorway.

Dale. He was on my bed. Naked. Lying on his stomach, facing me, a wide, inviting smile on his face. But it wasn't just Dale. His head, yeah, that was definitely Dale’s - his scruffy beard, his arrogant smirk. But below it? A woman's body. A gorgeous, voluptuous, undeniably naked woman's body. Her back was arched, showing off a perfectly rounded ass, and the smooth curve of her lower back led to a tantalizing glimpse of her pussy, tucked between perfectly toned thighs.

My eyes darted to her feet. The toes were painted with baby blue nail polish. The exact same shade Patty had put on her nails this morning.

"Petey," Dale purred, his voice still Dale’s gruff baritone, but impossibly sensual coming from that body. "You're home. Oh my god, I've missed you, baby!"

My mind reeled. "Dale," I stammered, my voice trembling, "did you just call me Petey?" That was Patty's nickname for me. Only Patty.

"Of course, babe, what else would I call you?" Dale responded, still looking back at me, his smile widening. He arched his new, incredible back even further, stretching out, displaying more of his perfect ass and pussy. His breasts, full and heavy, swayed slightly with the movement. "Petey, I want you so bad! I'm so glad we live together now, you can fuck me whenever you want!" he said, and started to gyrate slowly on the bed, his new hips swaying in a way that was undeniably feminine, undeniably horny.

I was in total shock, completely frozen. My brain was screaming, trying to decode what the hell was happening, trying to reconcile the familiar douchebag with the unbelievable sight before me. And my dick? My dick, traitorous bastard that it was, was already in full, unyielding attention. It ached, hot and hard, a stark contrast to the cold confusion gripping my mind. My desires, all in one, had become a reality. But skewed. So, so skewed.